Bear This! (A 300 Moons Book) Read online

  The bear dropped onto all fours and nosed around in the air.

  But there was nothing. No scent at all, only the snow landing on her sensitive nose. Still, some part of her knew it was gone. The feeling of dread it brought with it lifted.

  They had beaten it. For now, at least.

  She turned to Ethan, but he lay crumpled on the ground.

  My mate.

  She nosed his prone form anxiously.

  He didn’t move.

  She pawed at him.

  His jeans ripped, but he didn’t wake up.

  She moaned in anguish, shaking herself until her pelt slid back and forth over her spine.

  From deep inside, Evangeline the woman tried to surface.

  My mate.

  Yes, let me help.

  My mate.

  Rest, my sister. I can help him.

  The bear let go of the reins and Evangeline took them back.

  Her vision widened and her other senses receded, as the cold air from outside buffeted her bare skin.

  She crouched by his side.

  “Ethan,” she whispered.

  He didn’t reply.

  She didn’t see any visible signs of injury, but he was so cold.

  She brought a blanket down from one of the bunks and wrapped it around him. Then she cradled his head in her lap and rocked him gently.

  “Please stay with me, Ethan,” she begged.

  There was no reply.

  “Please,” she whimpered.

  But it was no use.

  The room was frigid. She couldn’t leave him on the floor.

  She grabbed another blanket, then found a hammer and nails in his tool bag, and used them to block the broken window as best she could.

  Ethan slept on.

  She laid another blanket on the ground next to him, rolled him onto it, and dragged him carefully onto one of the bunks.

  Panting, she rested next to him.

  The night seemed to stretch endlessly before her.

  A fresh jolt of pain drew her attention back to the mark on her wrist. She watched as the inky form shifted, taking shape before her eyes. A searing agony, the worst yet, made her close her eyes and clench her jaw to keep from calling out with pain. When she opened them a few seconds later, the pain was gone, and the mark on her wrist had an unmistakable shape.

  A bear.

  As if someone had tattooed a simple, black, tribal image of a small bear on the inside of her left wrist. Only somehow, they had done it from inside her own skin.

  She marveled at it for a moment, tracing the outline with her finger. There was no trace of pain, but something was different.

  Her connection to her own bear seemed stronger. Before, her communication with her animal side had always seemed distant, like two kids talking through a string between tin cans. Now, the bear was there, fully present and part of her.

  Her three hundredth moon had come to pass. Nothing stood between her and her her bear anymore, for better or worse. Nothing could help her control the beast. Evangeline was surprised to feel no fear at the prospect. In fact, her feelings ran just the opposite.

  With her newfound bond, she finally felt whole.

  Her bear told Evangeline she was safe, that the shadow thing was gone for good. She didn’t know if it had died from the wounds they’d inflicted, or someone had finished what she and Ethan had started, and she didn’t much care. The feeling of safety, however fleeting, was enough for her.

  The bear told her to rest. So she did.

  When the darkness outside the unbroken window began to turn pink in the morning light, Ethan finally stirred beside her, bringing her out of her light sleep.

  “Evangeline,” he murmured.

  “I’m here,” she told him.

  “Oh, good,” he smiled, and went back to sleep.

  Her heart sang.

  He was going to be okay.

  She smiled at the thought, then just as quickly frowned again.

  It was morning, or it would be soon. The snow had stopped.

  Whoever they had been for those stolen moments last night, they weren’t those people anymore.

  He was Ethan Chambers, the golden boy, and she was Evangeline, chased by darkness. The shadow thing was gone, but Evangeline knew it was the least of her demons. Sooner or later, her past would come calling again.

  Ethan was a kind man and too brave for his own good. Nothing but tragedy could come from their allegiance.

  They were darkness and light.

  She stayed wrapped in his arms for another hour, telling herself she would go in just a moment, just a moment.

  At last, when the first streaks of orange deepened on the horizon, she slipped out of bed, grabbed the sweats she’d abandoned last night, and dressed quietly.

  She sat at the desk and wrote him a note on the firehouse stationary. It might have been hard to know what to write if she’d had the luxury of time.

  As things were, she told him what was in her heart as quickly as she knew how, then slipped down the stairs and out the door.

  18

  Ethan awoke suddenly, shivering with cold, his heart in his mouth despite a dreamless sleep.

  A blanket from one of the bunks flapped against the broken window.

  “Evangeline,” he called.

  He remembered. He remembered everything.

  “Evangeline,” he cried, launching himself out of bed and smacking his head on the bunk above.

  There was no reply and somehow he knew she wasn’t downstairs eating breakfast.

  She was gone.

  He ran down the steps anyway, but the lounge was empty, so was the kitchen.

  Why would she leave?

  He had no answer for himself, but now that she was gone it was as if he’d known all along she would fly. It had been the missing piece of the puzzle in her eyes - the last note of the chord progression, which made the melody whole. She was lost, she was found. She was perfect, she was gone.

  The sunshine outside was already melting the snow, and the icicles dripped glittering droplets onto the street below like a ticker tape parade. The beauty out there only emphasized his misery.

  On his way back through the lounge, an envelope on the desk caught his eye.

  Ethan was scrawled on the front.

  He grabbed it and forced himself to open it gently, patiently. A voice in the back of his head told him this souvenir of Evangeline was priceless. It might be all he had in the empty days to come.

  Ethan,

  This night was the happiest and saddest of my life.

  Your kindness and courage will live on in my heart forever and I will remember your hot chili and your coolness under pressure even when I’m an old woman.

  The people who held me did things to study me, Ethan. Many of them were unpleasant but none broke my spirit, or my determination to escape.

  There is only one thing they did that can’t be undone.

  One of their experiments was artificial insemination.

  I’m pregnant and I don’t even know who fathered my baby, Ethan.

  I don’t have a job or an education. I don’t know what I want in life except to learn to live in freedom.

  You deserve better.

  And so does this child.

  I’m going to make arrangements with Kate to take custody of my baby soon after his or her birth. This little one will be raised in the best environment I can imagine.

  And I will leave Tarker’s Hollow and never come back to interfere.

  I will always belong to you in my heart. And in my memory you will always be my hero.

  -Evangeline

  Ethan didn’t hesitate before balling up the precious note, throwing it in the trash can, and dashing out the front door of the Tarker’s Hollow Fire Station into three feet of snow without a coat.

  For Ethan it wasn’t a decision.

  The truth of it was in his head and his heart. His feet moved without him ever making a choice.

  His woman a
nd his child were on the line. There was no time to waste.

  By the time he reached the main road that led to the farm he was sweating and shaking with the cold at the same time. He stopped a moment to catch his breath, shoving his hands into the pockets of his jeans.

  Something warm met his fingertips.

  It was the bear Mr. Crow had given him. How could the stone be so warm?

  But the thought of the bear only made him think of his own bear, Evangeline, and he plunged into the slightly deeper drifts that led the way to Harkness Farms.

  He heard old Joseph Crow’s voice in his head again, only this time it wasn’t remarking on his loneliness. It was the other thing he’d said to Ethan on that morning that was barely twenty-four hours ago, yet seemed like a lifetime.

  You deserve it, Ethan.

  19

  The bear came out of the trees behind the farmhouse. Journeying through the woods was safer than risking an interaction with a person.

  Though she was shy about returning after so much time, she couldn’t help thrusting her snout into the air from time to time, drinking in the familiar scents from the happy days of her youth.

  She went around behind the woodshed and dropped the sweats she had carried in her mouth.

  Then she closed her eyes, and when she opened them her vision was widening and her other senses diminishing as she returned to human form.

  Evangeline pulled on her clothes, wishing she could hold onto the simple thought patterns of her ursine companion.

  But things were always more complicated as a person.

  She was passing the barn and heading for the backdoor of the house when she heard a familiar voice.

  “Hey, can I help you?” he asked.

  “Derek?” she asked, whipping around so fast she nearly fell over.

  “Do I know you?” the young man asked. He was so tall now, but had the same wide, sweet smile in spite of having become a corporate savant.

  “I came to see Kate,” she replied, suddenly too shy to explain herself.

  “Come on in, we’re holing up in the barn today,” Derek smiled.

  He opened the door and she stepped inside. Instantly she was greeted with the incredible scents of cinnamon, apples and something earthy and wholesome that made her think of Kate.

  “She’s down in the kitchen, want me to show you?” Derek offered.

  But Evangeline’s feet were already carrying her down the stairs as fast as she could go. When she nearly reached the bottom of the stairs her heart got stuck in her mouth.

  Below her, she could see Kate bent over an open oven, her round behind stuck up in the air with the green ribbon of her favorite apron tied in a bow around her waist.

  “That you, Darcy?” Kate asked.

  Out of habit, Evangeline skipped the last, squeaky step, and landed with a flat-footed thump at the bottom.

  Then it all seemed to happen in slow motion.

  Kate spun around so fast she nearly fell over, an expression of hope on her careworn features.

  Evangeline ran to her.

  “Eva,” Kate sobbed and wrapped her warm arms around Evangeline.

  “Mom,” Evangeline sighed.

  “Is it really you, are you really here?” Kate asked, releasing her from the hug only to hold her at arm’s length, grinning at her through her tears.

  It was odd to hear weakness in the voice of the woman who Evangeline thought of as a superhero.

  “Yeah, it’s me,” she said.

  “Your three hundredth moon…” Kate began, an anxious look appearing on her face.

  “I think it already happened. There was a shadow, it chased me, but Ethan Chambers chased it off.”

  “Ethan Chambers?” Kate asked in confusion.

  “It’s a long story,” Evangeline hedged.

  “Oh, Eva, I’m so glad you’re home.” Kate’s blue eyes leaked tears and she wiped them on her apron. Then, sniffing a bit, she grabbed Evangeline firmly by the arm and brought her to the little break room behind the kitchen. They sat together on the worn love seat.

  “Are you back home for good, honey?” Kate asked.

  Evangeline was so surprised she didn’t know what to say. She had rehearsed this so many times, gone over what she would say or do to convince Kate to keep the baby. The farmhouse was always crowded. And yet, this morning, on the way here, the bear had known better.

  She’d made another plan.

  “I’m - I’m pregnant,” she began, spitting out the hard part first.

  “Oh how lovely,” Kate breathed, looking like she might cry again.

  Evangeline noticed gratefully that her foster mother didn’t even glance at her ring finger.

  And that increased her confidence to ask a very different question than the one she had planned all these weeks.

  “I wanted to ask you if you would help me,” she said. “I want to be a good mother, to learn to be one. I want to give her everything she needs - make her home feel safe and warm, not just a roof over her head, but a happy place, just like you gave—” Evangeline began.

  She was interrupted by a commotion in the bakery.

  “Ethan, what the hell—” Derek was demanding from the stairway.

  “Where is she?” Ethan’s voice was an octave lower than his usual baritone. He sounded furious.

  “Ethan,” Evangeline called.

  He burst through the door.

  “Don’t do this, Evangeline,” he said. His eyes were steel.

  “Evangeline,” Derek murmured slowly, putting it together.

  “Ethan, I—” she began.

  “Don’t you dare,” Ethan repeated. “How could you doubt? How could you give away our baby?”

  “Your baby?” Kate echoed softly, staring up at him in confusion.

  “No, it’s not his,” Evangeline said. “He’s an honorable guy, but just because we had a little encounter last night doesn’t mean he has to be responsible for me.”

  “You had a little encounter last night?” Derek echoed dangerously.

  “Evangeline, you can’t give that baby up,” Ethan roared. “I- I won’t allow it.”

  “I’m a free woman,” she replied, launching herself off her seat and standing up to him. He was enormous, but he couldn’t intimidate her. She wasn’t living in a prison anymore. Her body was her own.

  They stared each other down for a moment, as Derek and Kate looked on in awe.

  Then the ice went out of Ethan’s eyes and he smiled at her so kindly that her heart thawed.

  “I know you are,” he told her. “And you are going to be an incredible mother. You don’t need me, and neither does that baby. You’re the fiercest, hardest-working person I’ve ever met. That baby will want for nothing. But, Evangeline, I want you,” His voice broke and he took a breath. “I love you.”

  Evangeline stood frozen before him, her own breath caught in her throat.

  “Will you let me be your family?” he asked her.

  “Oh,” Kate murmured from her place on the bench.

  Then Evangeline was launching herself into Ethan’s warm arms, snuggling into his chest as Kate Harkness wept like a child.

  “Come on, Mom, let’s give them some space,” Derek said gruffly. “Ethan, we’re not done. You’re going to have some explaining to do,” he muttered on his way out.

  “Why did you leave me?” Ethan asked when they were alone at last.

  “I’m complicated, Ethan,” she said slowly. “So is the baby. I literally don’t know anything about what she’ll be. And that thing that came after me last night. We don’t know anything about that either. I didn’t want to drag you into my messes. I want you to have a happy life.”

  “It could never be a happy life without you in it,” he told her simply.

  And somehow, in spite of everything, she knew to her bones it was true.

  Somewhere in her chest the bear nodded her broad head in agreement. Their mate was telling the truth. She knew it from the lingering note of despair i
n his sweat, from the steady beat of his heart now that they were in his arms.

  The timer on the oven dinged and Evangeline thought of fresh, fragrant apple pies - and how she’d probably eat a whole one if Kate would let her.

  Happy times were ahead.

  And Evangeline didn’t plan on letting them go.

  20

  A few hours later Evangeline found herself ensconced in the cozy farmhouse living room. A fire crackled in the grate and a mug of tea warmed her hands.

  She was squeezed in pleasantly between Ethan and Derek. Her foster sister, Darcy, sat across from them. On the other side of the room, Kate hung the last of the ornaments on the tree with the help of Johnny’s fiancée, Neve.

  Outside, she could hear the squeals of the younger Harkness kids as they frolicked in the snow. She couldn’t wait to meet them.

  “Bron said the whole compound was shut down,” Evangeline explained to Darcy, who had listened to her whole story about having been held captive by the organization. “But how do I know for sure?”

  “He’s probably right,” Darcy said. “I had a run in with the woman who was in charge of the place. My son was held captive there too.”

  “Y-your son?” Evangeline echoed.

  “Yes,” Darcy smiled. “Finn and I are adopting him.”

  Evangeline studied Darcy, who had always been so aloof and independent, and wondered at how much could change in a few years.

  “That’s wonderful, Darcy,” she said with feeling.

  Darcy grinned back, her usual pirate grin.

  “At any rate, we couldn’t let them get away,” Darcy continued. “Sharp is on the run from some people who could probably teach her a thing or two about being bad.”

  “Wow,” Evangeline breathed.

  “And Finn made Draven disappear,” Darcy added.

  Good lord.

  Wait.

  Darcy had said Finn was a magician.

  “Do you mean…” Evangeline couldn’t complete the question.