Dax: Single Daddy Shifters #4 Read online

  She met his eyes, his beautiful eyes, and nodded.

  She hadn’t wanted to talk about this, hadn’t revealed it before to anyone outside her family. Nearly all the magic had been gone from the world for so long, and what was left had been kept secret - guarded from those who would have used it for ill.

  “I’m kind of unusual, too,” she said softly, holding out her hand to catch the diamond drops of water that were melting and dripping from the snowy tree branch above.

  “There’s no one like you in the whole world, Ava,” Dax said fervently.

  “No, that’s not what I mean,” she said. “Wait.”

  He waited.

  She looked down at the drops in her hand, reaching out to them.

  Please let this work. Please don’t let me fail. Please don’t let the illness take me again. I have so much to live for now.

  She focused all her fears and yearning on the three small drops that clung to her palm.

  But they didn’t even quiver.

  She looked up at Dax, wordless with horror.

  He studied her, his eyebrows slightly furrowed.

  “N-never mind,” she said, taking off toward the cabin.

  “Hey, wait,” he said. “Wait up a minute. I’m coming with you.”

  She could hear the confusion and disappointment in his voice, and it tore at a piece of her heart that she hadn’t known existed.

  16

  Dax

  Dax watched helplessly as Ava scraped and tore at the wallpaper. She had been at it ever since they returned to the cabin.

  They had decided earlier that removing the paper from the walls in the second bedroom would add to the value of the place. But they had never discussed doing it themselves.

  And there was a fervor to her actions that scared him.

  Something had upset her back in the woods.

  She had seemed to be fine about his wolf, but then she had stared down at her own hand with that strange expression.

  When she bolted off, he figured it must be his fault.

  Now he wasn’t sure if he should try to help her, or if it would only frighten her to have him near.

  He tried to see things from her perspective. She was trapped in a cabin in the woods with a wolf-man.

  He figured he might claw at the walls, too.

  He slipped back into his bedroom and finished packing up the remaining clothing that had been in the drawers.

  As soon as the cell phone service came back up, he could call someone to remove the tree or even pick them up on the entry of the drive.

  Maybe time and distance would help her feel better about his wolf.

  He had been a fool to think that Jill was the main obstacle here. He had just shown himself to be a monster of fairytale proportions.

  She hadn’t even asked about the children yet.

  And if she thought of it, she would probably be horrified to learn that those adorable babies would likely come into their wolves one day too.

  Could things be any worse?

  As if in answer to his question, there was a metallic click as the power shut off.

  He let his breath out slowly, willing himself not to lose patience.

  But they were further than ever from getting out of here.

  The sounds of Ava’s efforts in the other room ceased.

  “I’m sorry,” he called to her, not even sure what he was sorry for. “I think there are some candles in the kitchen.”

  He headed out to check.

  Pink twilight still glowed in the kitchen, allowing him just enough light to see the drawers but not enough to see in them. He rummaged around blindly for a few minutes, finally coming up with a box of matches and a stub of candle.

  He gathered them up and headed to join Ava.

  17

  Ava

  Ava looked up from her work to see Dax standing in the threshold of the room.

  He held a candle in one hand, its soft light emphasizing his strong jaw and golden hair.

  He was such a beautiful man.

  And he was clearly special himself, so he would have understood her magic. She’d spent her whole life looking for someone she could share that side of herself with, and now that she’d finally found him, that part of her was gone.

  “Ava, are you okay?” he asked, his deep voice gentle.

  “I’m just tired,” she said.

  “I’ll bet,” he told her. “Why don’t you take a break for a while. I won’t bother you.”

  “You’re not bothering me,” she sighed, wishing she could do the right thing.

  He deserved a healthy partner, a healthy mate.

  She could not allow him to get close. When she got sick all over again, he could face a second tragedy. That wasn’t fair to him.

  And the children…

  Well, she just couldn’t do that to them.

  Dax would find another woman, another mate.

  And she would find other things to bring happiness to her life. There were lots of people who needed help in the world - people who wouldn’t be invested enough in her to feel the loss when she was gone.

  “Ava, please tell me what’s wrong,” he begged.

  She met his beautiful eyes and had to look away.

  She couldn’t do this. It was too hard. She loved him. She knew that now.

  “Whatever it is, we can fix it,” he said. “I haven’t shifted since the kids were born. I’ll never do it again if it makes you feel better.”

  She shook her head, horrified.

  If she had her gift back, she would never give it up, never.

  “I know it’s a scary idea,” he said, not realizing. “But I promise you I’m an ordinary man. I would never hurt you.”

  Oh, but I would hurt you, she said to herself. I’ve already hurt you by allowing this thing to happen between us, knowing what I know…

  “Dax,” she said, louder than she meant to.

  He blinked down at her, waiting.

  “Dax, I can’t be with you,” she said softly. “I think you’re amazing, but I just can’t be with you. I’m sorry. I wasn’t myself last night and I allowed things to happen. I’m so sorry. I will always care about you and the kids.”

  He didn’t speak but she could see the pain in his eyes.

  “I understand,” he said stiffly. “I’ll go light the fire. We’ll get out of here as soon as we get cell service.”

  She nodded, unable to reply over the lump in her throat.

  18

  Dax

  Dax loaded the last of the wood in the stove.

  He wished he had thought to begin conserving it earlier. The fire he had going wouldn’t even last the night. Without power, they couldn’t use the space heater as a back-up.

  He ran a hand through his hair and wondered how he had gotten here.

  It was nearly full dark.

  They only had one candle.

  They were never going to make it back with the trees in time for the sale tomorrow.

  Carol had to be worried sick by now.

  And he had managed to mess things up with Ava so badly that he didn’t think he could fix it.

  I only wanted to protect you.

  But he hadn’t protected her. They might have survived the encounter with the bear, but as soon as they got out of this cabin, she would leave Tarker’s Hollow and go back to her apartment, in a chilly city with no job and no one to love her.

  She was worse off than when she had arrived, because he had given her hope and then taken it away.

  It had been a mistake to come to the cabin. He saw it now.

  Once the fire was going strong, he stood and went to the kitchen to try and make some dinner.

  After a bit of banging around, he found a can of soup. He lit the stove with a match and managed to bring it to boiling.

  When it was ready, he tapped on the door to the second bedroom.

  “Come in,” Ava said softly.

  He opened the door to find her standing in front of th
e window, silhouetted by moonlight.

  His heart ached.

  “Please come out and have some dinner,” he said. “I’m not angry. I understand.”

  She turned and he could see her face was tear stained.

  He wished he could thrash himself for making her feel that way.

  “Thank you,” she said politely, her voice a little rough.

  She followed him to the living room, where she curled up on the couch to sip her mug of soup.

  “It doesn’t look like we’re getting out of here tonight,” he told her. “And we’re running low on wood.”

  She nodded, lips pressed together.

  “Would you feel better if I slept outside?” he asked. “I can… well, you know. I can change and find a place to be comfortable.”

  Her eyes widened in horror. “Of course not.”

  “Thank you,” he said.

  They sipped their soup and watched the wood stove until flames died to embers.

  “I guess that means bedtime,” Dax said. It wasn’t really late, but the sooner they tucked in, the more they could conserve body heat. The cabin was going to get very cold very quickly.

  She nodded.

  “There’s only the one bed, but I can sleep out here,” he told her. “Go ahead and get comfortable in the other room.”

  “Oh, Dax,” she said. “That’s not necessary. You can sleep with me.”

  He was tempted, but he knew it would be a mistake.

  “I don’t want to make you uncomfortable,” he told her. “It’s bad enough that you dumped me, and now you can’t even get away.”

  “It’s fine,” she told him. “We’ll be warmer. And maybe we can talk a bit, make friends again even if we aren’t… lovers.”

  “That sounds really nice,” he said. And he meant it. He wanted to be a friend to her.

  He blew out the candle and they headed to the bedroom.

  The darkness was nearly total in the hallway. But when she opened the door to the bedroom, they were greeted by the glow of the moonlight on the snowy meadow outside the window.

  She slipped into the bed.

  He crawled in after her, trying desperately to restrain his instinct to touch her.

  It was so hard when every fiber of his being told him to hold her, to claim her…

  “I’m sure Carol will have a pretty good idea of what happened,” Ava said softly, as if she thought it was Carol he was worrying about right now.

  “Hopefully she will,” he agreed. “I feel bad about the trees. The fire station was really counting on them. Maybe we’ll be able to get back in time for at least part of the sale tomorrow.”

  “I’m sure we will,” she said.

  They were quiet for a long time.

  Dax swore he could feel the temperature in the room drop. Without the wood stove going, it was going to be chilly in the room before too long.

  His shifter metabolism would keep him fairly comfortable, but he worried about Ava.

  Sure enough, he felt her trembling a moment later.

  “Can I hold you?” he asked. “Just to stay warm.”

  She rolled toward him and he wrapped her in his arms.

  “Mmm,” she murmured, shivering with pleasure at his heat.

  Dax set his jaw as his entire body responded to her sound and sweet scent, and the intoxicating feel of her pressed against him. He was instantly rigid against her bottom.

  “Sorry,” he murmured. “That’s not on purpose.”

  She didn’t reply but she didn’t pull away either.

  Waves of need washed over him, so overwhelming he was afraid he couldn’t resist her.

  “Ava,” he said. “Are you really not afraid of my wolf?”

  “No,” she said. “Not a bit.”

  “In that form, this could be more platonic,” he told her carefully. “And warmer,” he added.

  “Really?” she asked, rolling over to smile at him.

  I will not kiss her smiling mouth. I will not love her if she doesn’t want to be loved.

  “Of course,” he said.

  He jumped out of bed and stripped off his clothes.

  This time when he sank into his wolf, he was careful to do it a little more slowly, and no sudden movements just after the transformation.

  “Wow,” she breathed.

  He turned to the bed, barely able to make out her shape.

  But sight wasn’t necessary when his other senses were so amped up. He could sense her position from her bright smell and the drum of her pulse.

  She moved over slightly, and he leapt onto the bed in a single fluid motion.

  Ava laughed, a sparkling waterfall of a sound.

  He leaned down to butt her in the chest with his massive head.

  She reached up and scratched the spot behind his ears that always felt ticklish when he was in this form.

  He flopped down by her side and she curled herself around his back, sinking her fingers into his fur.

  “You’re right, you are warm,” she told him.

  They were quiet for a moment and he soaked in the scent of his mate, felt her gentle breathing against his back.

  This was good. This was right.

  The human didn’t understand, but he did and so did the girl.

  They would work together to bring things back to harmony.

  “You’re easy to talk to when you’re like this, you know,” she said after a moment. “I can’t believe you would think I don’t want you because you’re a shifter.”

  He went still, his human desperate to hear what she would say next.

  “Shifters are magical beings,” she said thoughtfully. “I know that shifters and actual magic don’t always mix. But I’ve never understood why.”

  His human exploded with questions. He demanded to know how she knew about magic, and about the rift between the shifters and the magical community.

  But the wolf waited patiently. Part of him already suspected what she was about to say. There was something about the brightness of her scent that had told him her secret even before she could tell him herself.

  “We both know what it’s like to be different,” she went on, stroking his fur. “I had magic once.”

  She paused for so long he was afraid she wouldn’t continue.

  “But then I got sick,” she said softly. “And it went away. And even when I got well, it didn’t come back all the way. And now, I think it’s just gone.”

  This was a sad idea. He wondered what it would it be like to lose his second self.

  “Anyway, that’s why I can’t be with you, Dax,” she went on. “It’s nothing to do with you. But if my magic is still gone, it means I’m not really well. It means I’m still sick somehow.”

  He let that sink in.

  That didn’t sound right. He didn’t smell any sickness on her. And magic had nothing to do with biology, he knew this instinctively.

  But even if it did…

  “I could never put you and the kids through that,” she was still saying. “I could never be the reason for you to hurt like that. You can’t lose the woman you love for a second time.”

  Pain cut through him.

  Not pain for his first mate, whom he had loved with all his heart, but for this one - the one he had never gotten the chance to love at all.

  He felt like he was dying.

  The human whispered to him. Let me…

  Sorrowfully, he let go of their form.

  Dax slid back into his own body.

  Ava gasped as he sat up in bed.

  “I’m really sorry,” he told her. “I just… there’s something you need to hear.”

  19

  Ava

  Ava gazed into Dax’s eyes.

  He looked so serious, so worried.

  She shouldn’t have told him about the magic. Now he would worry about her, even if they weren’t mates.

  “Ava,” he said, his voicing breaking. “Do you think I wish I hadn’t known Jill, hadn’t loved her?”

>   Tears sprang to her eyes. “No, no of course not,” she said.

  “Of course not,” he echoed. “I’m so glad I got to spend those years with her, and I feel so lucky for each and every memory we made.”

  Her heart ached and she pressed a hand to her mouth to hold in a sob.

  “It almost killed me when she died,” he said. “But here’s the thing, Ava. I don’t have a single regret - not one.”

  She nodded, unable to speak.

  “And I love you, Ava,” he told her. “I know we haven’t known each other long, but I know how I feel. Jill sent you to me, she sent you to me. Can’t you see what that means?”

  Tears ran down her cheeks and she nodded.

  “I don’t really care if I have sixty years with you, or six months, Ava,” he said. “When you’ve been through what I’ve been through, you realize that nothing is guaranteed. We all get one life, no more, no less. It’s all relative, and it’s never enough.”

  He took a deep breath and held out his hand.

  She placed hers in it.

  “I want to love you, Ava Sorensen,” he said. “Will you please let me do that?”

  “Yes,” she managed.

  When he pulled her close, a thousand emotions blindsided her at once: joy, fear, relief and a surge of something she had thought she would never feel again.

  “Ava?” he said as she pulled away and spread her arms to her sides.

  She knew what that tingly feeling meant.

  Her magic was back, pulsing through her as if it had never gone, rushing like a river overflowing its banks. She had never felt it this strong before.

  “What-where are you going?” Dax asked in utter confusion as she stumbled out of the room.

  She could hear him behind her as she felt her way into the living room.

  The moonlit snow reflected just enough light for her to find her boots by the door.

  “What are you doing? Where are you going?” Dax sounded worried.

  “It’s a good thing,” she told him. “Come on.”

  She headed out the door without waiting for him, though she could hear him fumbling with his boots.